A Girlfriends Giveaway...

So my well-laid plan to have a week of posts went by the wayside, thanks to a combination of stress and...

doing what the book I'm giving away says.

The subtitle of Mary Snyder's book God, Grace, & Girlfriends is "adventures in faith and friendship" and I had some adventures this week. A friend needed biblical advice. A friend needed companionship. A friend needed to get out of her house for her own sanity. A friend needed a shopping companion {oh the torture! grin.}.

And I needed my friends. When you have a week like I had last week, you just need your girls.

But enough about me.

You're hear to talk about Mary and her delicious book.

I was already excited to read GG&G before my preview copy arrived in the mail. I've "heard" Mary speak of godly friendships and girlfriend getaways through her blog and our interactions at She Speaks. I could not wait to read her experience-born advice in book form.

I was doubly blessed when I read through the table of contents. Mary's book is divided into two sections. Part I focuses on seven areas of "Finding Friendships," while Part II is stuffed full with ideas for fabulous things to do with those friends once you've met them.

Mary's warmth and sense of humor shine through as she explores the "Great Girlfriend Adventure." No matter where you are in your friendships- whether you are feeling alone and in need of a good girlfriend group, you are unsure how to connect in a new church or Bible study, or you find yourself in a sticky friendship situation - Mary comes along side with Scripture and a sense of humor to give counsel and a dose of encouragement.

I especially appreciated her advice on toxic friendships and keeping friendships in perspective within your priorities. {In fact, her advice is what allowed me to give myself permission to change my blogging plan when my face to face friends needed me.}

Part II is what really inspired me. Mary is a gal that loves a good time, and she has given us everything we need to create a healthy-girlfriend environment.

In her chapter on "Building a Bible Study Group," Mary tackles the good, the bad, and the scary. Need advice on how to start a group? Covered. Need counsel on the best type of study or format? Covered. Don't have a prayer team yet? That's okay. Mary talks you through everything you need in order to have a healthy Bible study group. She even gives practical, biblical advice on handling conflict and difficult situations.

Her girls' nights out include theme ideas and practical checklists {including spa recipes!} and her chapters on girlfriend getaways, road trips, and retreats help you to plan and prepare for the un-plannable. As soon as I've finished this post I'm planning to hand off my copy to my friend Lynne, who has been hoping to plan some sort of retreat or women's event. This book will give her a great place to start!

Whether you are looking for a godly friend or looking to get the friends you have together, God, Grace, & Girlfriends will meet you where you are at and help you on your way to an adventure!

Want a copy of this fabulous book?

Simply leave a comment below {remember that comments from phones will not post} and share your favorite girlfriend adventure! One commenter will be chosen on Friday, March 16, 2012 using random.org.


If you are not the winner, I'd encourage you to get a copy through Christianbook.com.

I can't wait to hear your tales.
Love, Het

Fighting with your Friends

On Monday I introduced you to Mary Snyder and her book God, Grace, & Girlfriends.  My plan was to write about one topic each on Tuesday, Wednesday, etc. until the giveaway of Mary's book on Monday.

On Tuesday I met with a sweet girlfriend for coffee. We had a great time. I came home to blog about "Finding Friendships" and WHAMMO!

Spiritual battle. Big. Time.

I've been under spiritual attack for the last few weeks.

It began in earnest when I began to allow God to use my past to minister to a friend that needs someone to walk closely with her on her path right now.

I'm fighting with a friend.

No, we're not in conflict with each other. We are taking ground in our walks with God- claiming His promises over an area of life where I have had to fight for hard-won joy, and where she desires to have that same end result. I'm fighting her battle WITH her. On my knees, with the Word open.

It's a humbling experience to be used in this way, because although I'm being used in her life, it involves digging into the "stuff" of my past to allow God to use and redeem it in her life.

Its a tightrope walk.

But over these last few years my friend and I have built the kind of friendship that allows for this season.

In these past five years we have had to have hard, hard conversations. She has had to rebuke me {That was fun...}. We've wrestled through trauma from our church family splintering, we've had to sort through the junk that comes with being the subject of gossip and slander and half-truths and manipulation.

And our friendship is the stronger for it.

The thing is I always wanted a local friendship like this - one that can be play dates and laughing and deep and faith-grounded. {I have Sunni, of course, but 900 miles does not lend itself for play dates.}

What I didn't realize was what it would take to get here.

It's been a long five years in this friendship adventure. 

I didn't have an issue with finding girlfriends. I had an issue with finding trustworthy girlfriends. I had an issue with trying to be super close friends with too many girlfriends, and I put too much stock in my friendships.

The problem was, I was looking for a stand-in for Sunni. I wanted to have the kind of understanding and trustworthiness and depth that we have, but.... wait for it... somehow I lost perspective on the fact that we have been friends for fifteen years.

Understanding may come quickly, but trust takes time to build and keep, and depth... well, sometimes we are just in different seasons at different times, and that depth that we might desire {that maybe even both of us desire}  just. isn't. going. to happen.

In fact, when I met my battle-weary friend, there was no way that depth could have happened. It's taken years of praying and talking and having casual time and hard conversations and fighting on our knees for each others' families that has brought us to this point.

And we are praying it won't last.

Does that surprise you?

If any of you that have walked through spiritual battle with another friend, you understand. You are willing. You know you are only able to minister to each other in God's strength in mercy. But you can't wait for the healing to come. You can't wait to be able to sip coffee and just laugh and dream and tell goofy stories and eat too many desserts.

 In order for us to maintain this same TYPE of intimacy, we would need to be in a perpetual state of crisis. And neither of us wants that.

But for now we'll do it, because we love God and we love each other. So we do the hard thing. And we'll do it as long as it takes.

At She Speaks two years ago, Lysa TerKeurst warned us not to envy another's ministry. She asked us if we'd be willing to have __________'s past in order to have her ministry. No, we wouldn't. No one would choose that pain. We allow God to teach us to steward the things WE learned in the valley, and we allow Him to use it through us.

I wanted this intimacy with my friends. I just didn't know how hard it would be. I am willing. I am grateful. I praise God that He can use me.

But don't envy me. Don't envy us.

Ask God to show you who has understanding. Ask Him to give you discernment to find a handful of friends that are trustworthy, and do the hard things. Be the friend that will keep their confidences and will bring them to the Throne of God.

But keep God first. Always keep God first.

Getting ready for Girlfriends...

Two years ago, by "random chance," I sat two seats over from Mary Snyder at lunch. She was intently talking to the woman on the other side of her, and I was busy talking to a friend that I was sitting with, but I walked away knowing one thing for sure: this woman is a HOOT.

photo from MaryRSnyder.com

Last year, through the wonders of the internet, Mary and I had a chance to reconnect through Facebook, blogging, and Twitter. And I walked away knowing one thing for sure: this woman loves her some Jesus.

This year I have had the privilege of reading and reviewing Mary's new book, God, Grace, & Girlfriends. With tears in my eyes I can say I know one thing for sure: this woman knows the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful when it comes to girlfriends.

This book is a must-read for those of us searching for those covenant friends, and for those of us that long to connect groups of women through planning girls' nights out, getaways, and retreats.

I get to give away a copy of Mary's new book next week {woot woot}, and in preparation, this week {whenever technology allows, sigh} I will be sharing about some of my girlfriends and what I've learned from them. Next Monday I will post my full review of Mary's book {spoiler alert: I loved it} and give one copy away!

In the meantime, tell me about one friend that changed your life. {Let's keep it to the "for the better" category.}

Blessings on your journey,
Het

P.S. In the meantime, won't you visit Mary at www.maryrsnyder.com?

In absentia...

I have been missing my bloggity friends!

My laptop is at the "laptop doctor" making it difficult for me to blog, access Facebook and Twitter, or even email regularly.

 Even my smartphone has betrayed me, needing an essential update for me to easily use Twitter, Facebook or even access my email. And how would one update one's Smartphone? By plugging it into one's laptop.

These are First World issues.

 I am aware of this and choosing to embrace my unintentional, technology-imposed hiatus as pure joy- using my time to instead visit with friends face to face {last week became a sort of playdate-palooza} and spending even more time with my kiddos.

My hope is that my laptop with be healthy and return home soon, but until then, would you pray as I begin in earnest to prepare the details and delivery of the message God has lain on my heart?

 I have the blessed opportunity to share one of my heart's cries: we are created on purpose for a purpose!!! In less than two months I will be travelling to a place that has fond memories, Singing Hills Conference Center in Plainfield, NH, to share my heart and to fellowship with women crafters.

I hope to be back in the blogosphere MUCH sooner than later. Until then, please feel free to come hang out on my Facebook page and make some new friends!!

Blessings!!

11 Random...

I've been on an unintentional blog-hiatus! Life has been wonderfully full with play dates and field trips and family time, but I've been so "real world" busy that I haven't posted in almost two weeks.


Then my dear heart Leigh of Hopefulleigh tagged me in this post, and as I love surveys and interviews, and questions of all kinds, I can't NOT play along!


Here are the rules:
                                                         Rules:
                                               1. Post these rules
                          2. You must post 11 random things about yourself.
                            3. Answer the questions set for you in their post.
                 4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
                               5. Let people know that you’ve tagged them.


11 Random Things about me:


1. I got stuck in the mud on my friend's farm tonight. Her wonderful hubby had to pull my minivan out with his tractor.
2. I have been one inch away from finishing my scarf for weeks now. {Working on follow through. Working on it.}
3. I am currently in the middle of several books. I also have 15 holds from the library all come in on the same day. I both love and hate when that happens.
4. On Monday I am going to the zoo to see a concert. 
5. The concert? The Toe-Jam Puppet Band. {Jealous, Leigh?}
6. I am going to the concert with Shasha, Bunky, Sassy, and Bean. I need a cool nickname.
7. Two of my Borders co-workers {sometimes called Lady Baba and Lady Na-na} sometimes called me Lady Haha. 
8. I was a tour guide in college and drove a golf cart for some tours. I miss that golf cart.
9. I used to live on the Cape. I miss the scenery and the access to the ocean {closer than 20 minute drive now}, but not the traffic. or the tourists. 
10. I love home educating my kids more than I even imagined possible.
11. I am obsessed with Downton Abbey, Once Upon a Time, and Psych. I can pretty much do without the rest of television, except for the occasional 19 Kids and Counting. {Quite the combination, huh?}

Questions for me from Leigh:

1. Favorite book

That is a mean question. That's like asking me to publicly proclaim which of my children is my favorite! Uncalled for! Badly done, Leigh. Badly done. {Okay. Even though that was an Emma reference, if I have to chose, I'd say Pride & Prejudice.}

2. Would you make a good celebrity? Why or why not?

The paparazzi would be soooooo bored. But I'd certainly gush enough about all of the swag I'd be given. Grin.

3. One thing on your To Do list

See a Red Sox/ White Sox game at Fenway with Leigh. 

4. The last time you treated yourself to something special

I will be soon treating myself to a Nook Color Tablet. 

5. What is your perfect meal?

Cooked by someone else, foods that I've never tried, fabulous friends to share it with...

6. One thing you should do more often

Finish projects. {Working on it. Working on it. Grace grace grace.}

7. Most underrated band

Electric Mayhem {Watch the video, fortheloveofPaulSimon.}

8. Your plans for Valentine's Day

Not ON Valentine's Day, but hubs and I will go out for a movie and dessert.

9. If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Time and money are not a factor.

A beach vacation for two weeks with my bestie.

10. A good prank you pulled or that someone did to you

Oxymoron. No such thing as a good prank. Ugh. Bleck. Yuck.

11. Rain or snow?

Snow. Unless it's a very warm, spring rain and I can puddle jump with the littles.

My questions for my tagees:

1. Favorite t.v. show? Why?

2. Favorite social media outlet:

3. Favorite item that you own that is also your favorite color:

4. Person {or people} you've met online that you most want to meet in person:

5. Best vacation so far:

6. Movie you can watch over and over:

7. Book you read again and again:

8. Three songs on the soundtrack for your life:

9. Where did you go on your worst date?

10. With which t.v. character do you most identify?

11. Who would you cast to play you in the movie of your life?

My tagees: 

Melissa @ Half-Dozen Mama

Suzannah @ So Much Shouting, So Much Laughter

Stacie @ Beautiful Things

Tammy @ Ticked Pink Tammy

Alissa @ Rags to Stitches

Friday Coffee Date and a Guest Post

Welcome to everyone that is visiting from my friend Amy Carroll's blog!

{If you are regular reader-friend, would you take a moment to visit my guest post at Amy's today. It's a topic that's familiar to our regular Pinkdaisy Life community.}

It's Friday, which is our regular coffee date, and I have been itching to sit down and share with you this week. It's a rainy, cold day here in Massachusetts- a perfect day to come in and have a hot cup of Tazo while we catch up.

I'm so honored and humbled that my friend Amy asked me to guest post today. I had such a difficult time getting that post done. I want to tell everything there is to know about Trades of Hope, so I ended up with pages and pages of "outtakes" in my Evernote. Most of what I wrote can be found in the previous Trades posts here and here and here.

I'm also nervous because I overused the pronoun "they" which made it sound like the guests at our parties were had the satisfaction of helping me, when I meant it was the artisans. {eek!!} That's one of the things I love about Trades of Hope - it's a true partnership between the artisans and the Compassion Entrepreneurs. I hope that I have the honor of meeting several of them this side of heaven and tell them how grateful I am for their artistry and their bravery, but I digress.

I'd also share what an encouragement my friend Sarah has been to me in this whole venture. I am her "coach," but that girl brings me so much encouragement. I am so blessed to work with such amazing women.

Who has been an encouragement to you this week?


I've also been going to the gym regularly {ugh}. My friends promise I'll stop hating it soon and will actually start to like it. I'm not convinced, but I need to be healthier. I want to be a mom that can still be active when her grandkids are around, and I know that means making changes in my diet and lifestyle now. Sigh. I'd much rather sit and read.... so of course I read on the treadmill or elliptical when I'm warming up and cooling down. {You aren't surprised are you?} I'd love for you to share your health/ fitness motivation if you have any. *big sigh*

It's been a week of car repairs and stuck in the house and, although I love all four seasons, I long for Spring. We had a teaser earlier this week. Everyone in Starbucks was in a short sleeved shirt and sunglasses. How many weeks 'til warm weather?

I am still enjoying the Bible study I am doing on the book of James Mercy Triumphs and several of you were kind enough to comment or email letting me know your tips and tricks, or just to say that you'd be joining me on my memorization venture. I'm "officially" starting to memorize the book of James this week, but go and get a head start if you'd like.

My lovely friend Leigh will be running a series in February of stories of how her friends met their spouses. She's decided to embrace Valentine's Day as a single and rejoice in the love in her life and the love around her. I'm guest posting about how I met David, which is making me giggle like the sixteen year old I was when I first met him. *grin* I can't wait to read the rest of the stories, so why wait? Tell me: How did you meet your other half?


Well, I've talked a lot about myself, and I wish this was a real coffee date, with real conversation.
Until we can meet over a cup of tea, I love hearing back from you, so, tell me:
So, what's on your mind? 

Pressing In Through James

I've been pondering the spiritual disciplines as I re-read Jan Winebrenner's book Intimate Faith.

I'm still chewing on Chapter 2- which deals with submission and humility. There's a popular quote, attributed to Albert Einstein, that says, "If you can't explain something simply, you don't really understand it." Therefore, I will not even try to write about what I am learning about these topics. Maybe in a few weeks I'll have wrapped my brain around the material enough to at least share my thoughts.  {Grin}

In my desire to have a more disciplined study time, I have started Beth Moore's Mercy Triumphs a study of the book of James. She's added a few new options to this study, including a chance to go deeper with some articles written by her daughter, Melissa, and a challenge to write out and memorize the book of James.

I'm doing it.

It's a seven week study, but Beth suggests that the memorization will take months, not weeks.

Can I be honest? I am so scared of failing. Remember, this is the ENFP talking. You know that ENFPs are notorious for their lack of follow through. I mean, that's most of the reason that I have FOCUS as my One Word. *sigh* But I am not going to let my fear keep me from having the book of James hidden in my heart.

No, God won't love me any more or less if I do or do not succeed at memorizing, but might it be possible that as I brood over His Word {more on that later this week}, I might fall in love with Him more?

I am a word girl. In fact, I'm not just a word girl, I am a Word girl. I love the Scripture. I love learning Greek roots and reading commentaries. {I do not like debate, though, I like nice, civilized discussions.} I love sharing my discoveries in Sunday school and Bible study and when I speak to women in groups.

The Sha'ma {Deut. 6:4-9} tells us to impress them upon our children, and to talk about them as we talk and walk and live our day. What a better way to have the Scriptures available to us than to have them hidden in your own heart?

Tell me: do you memorize Scripture? Why or why not?